The soul cannot forgive until it
is restored to wholeness and health.
In the absence of love - how can one forgive?

With an abundance of love, starting with one's self,
forgiveness becomes a viable opportunity.
-Nancy Richards

Friday, July 4, 2008

Fourth of July

Independence day! A day we celebrate our freedom, with family picnics, fireworks, games, food, BBQ’s, and parades. A day off of work! And a day for many that is packed with all kinds of fun…

…However, for some, the 4th of July is another solitary day of mourning.

The pain of family estrangement is often heightened during any holiday.

When faced with my first holiday alone – disconnected from my lifelong family traditions – my therapist stated matter-of-factly, "You will create new holiday traditions."

Easier said than done. Throughout the first years of my family estrangement, I suffered through birthdays, holidays, and other significant events nursing my wounds while I tried to cope with my feelings of exclusion and rejection.

However, my therapist was right. In time, I did create new holiday traditions that were far more fun and loving than the old.

If you are recently estranged, take heart that the pain of estrangement and that of dealing with the holidays does lessen with time. Mourning is a necessary part of the process. When we are done mourning the old, we make room for the new.

Happy Fourth of July!


Anonymous said...

Thank you for the helpful words. I know that any holiday for me is really hard and I love the idea of making new holiday traditions. I so look forward to when the pain of all of this lessens. I love your blog and I find it very helpful and nurturing to me, thank you.

AbuseAndForgiveness said...

You're welcome! And thank you!

Anonymous said...

Thank you, for remembering those of us who share in the missing of family on any given day and especially the holidays. Sincerly, Leona

AbuseAndForgiveness said...

You're welcome.