The soul cannot forgive until it
is restored to wholeness and health.
In the absence of love - how can one forgive?

With an abundance of love, starting with one's self,
forgiveness becomes a viable opportunity.
-Nancy Richards

Saturday, August 9, 2008


I like analogies. Often during my healing process, analogies have helped me wrap my head around concepts by making them clearer. Yesterday, I heard Dr. Robin Smith use an analogy on Oprah and Friends radio that I found interesting. Her analogy was called “Taking an air-conditioner into hell.”

She said that we all find ourselves in circumstances that are slowly killing us either, physically, emotionally, or spiritually and we stay in hell while we try to mitigate the damage in order to endure our situation. She said this was like, “Taking an air-conditioner into hell, rather than leaving hell and beginning to heal.”

Prior to adequate healing and understanding my patterns of behavior, a number of stressful or damaging relationships affected my life. These failures manifested themselves from my old programming – misplaced trust and inappropriate responses. I responded to feelings of betrayal out of fear, focusing on the other individual rather than resolutely safeguarding my own well-being.

Some of these relationships were so toxic that I needed to move on. For others, it was a matter of learning to exercise clear, respectful boundaries in order to leave my own personal hell behind and let the healing begin.


Strong and determined said...

I absolutely can relate to this post. Thank you for posting the analogy!

Anonymous said...

Nancy, Thank you so much for sharing this post. I have struggled greatly in these same areas, and I am wondering if you might share some qualities which you came to understand were red flags in regard to unhealthy relationships/friendships, vs. qualities of healthy relationships and safe individuals. Any insight you wish to share would be so appreciated.

AbuseAndForgiveness said...

Dear Anonymous,

Thank you for your insightful question. I'm going to think about this a little, and I'll write my thoughts in a post.

Thanks again,