The soul cannot forgive until it
is restored to wholeness and health.
In the absence of love - how can one forgive?

With an abundance of love, starting with one's self,
forgiveness becomes a viable opportunity.
-Nancy Richards

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Reconciliation – Recovery time

Each time I had contact with one of my family members, I needed recovery time to absorb a wide range of conflicting emotions: sadness, joy, uncertainty, hope, sorrow, and issues of trust. Contrary to the old ways, of “powering” through each event, I remained present with my feelings, staying true to myself and let my well-being guide me.

At first my movements were slow and tentative. I kept my visits brief and didn’t discuss difficult issues that came up with my family until I had time to work through intense emotions alone or with supportive friends.

I took baby steps while I began to build trust – both in myself and with my family members.


Unknown said...

Nancy: I have yet to go see my father who is in a nursing home with alzheimers. I didn't go see him on Father's Day, and it did bother me because I didn't go, I am trying to get the courage to go see him soon again, but everytime I try it brings back bad memories. I feel guily beause I had promised my mom I would see him. Taking baby steps is a great thing to do, and mabye that is what I need to do also, thanks for a great post..Mary

AbuseAndForgiveness said...


Even pondering is a baby step.

Ultimately, we should do whatever gives us the most peace - whether it is going or not going.

If you do go see your father, make sure you place your own well-being first during the visit, and have a good support person (or system) to either take with you or to help "debrief" you afterwards.

Take care,