The soul cannot forgive until it
is restored to wholeness and health.
In the absence of love - how can one forgive?

With an abundance of love, starting with one's self,
forgiveness becomes a viable opportunity.
-Nancy Richards

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

1992 – Entry Three - Still a Damaged Child

From my 1992 journal:

…….I am questioning myself. I’m afraid that people will believe Mom and think that I am crazy. It is hard without the love, support, and understanding of a mother. She isn’t behind me to help me. She is the one I need protection from. I long for the love, safety, comfort and support of a mother. Why doesn’t she love me?

I talked to Thomas today about my frustration that every once and a while, Mom does something nice for me. Whenever she has done something nice, I’ve let myself get sucked back in. I get my hopes up that we can have a relationship and then – Wham! She slices me to ribbons.

Thomas said, “So, you can grieve the loss of the mother she could have been.”

I fought back tears…….. “Yes.”

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