The soul cannot forgive until it
is restored to wholeness and health.
In the absence of love - how can one forgive?

With an abundance of love, starting with one's self,
forgiveness becomes a viable opportunity.
-Nancy Richards

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Listen to Your Heart – Let Pain Be Your Guide

Have you ever noticed that there are thousands of weight loss programs that say, “Guaranteed to Lose Weight Now!” And if there was truly one weight loss program that worked for everyone, we wouldn’t see thousands on the market. There would be just the one.

I think the same is true for healing. If there was one method that worked for everyone, there would be just one.

Although we share many common maladies to varying degrees, we all have different experiences, separate timetables, and distinct needs.

I struggled with my healing, in part because of the expectations others placed on me. I was fed up and frustrated with all the “shoulds” and “should nots.” You should “get over it.” You shouldn’t dwell on the past. You should think about all that you have to be grateful for. You shouldn’t let it bother you. You should forgive. You shouldn’t be angry.

Enough already! I decided to heal on my own timetable and in my own way. I shunned the “shoulds” and decided NOT to forgive - at least until *I* was ready. When it came to healing – I shunned the should nots – and I made space in my life to honor the depth of my injuries.

I listened to my own heart and ignored the critics who said, “You have to forgive (which implied immediately). Forgiveness is good for you!” - Because, sometimes, something that can be good for you isn’t good for you at that time.

We all know that exercise is good for us. Yet, given certain circumstances, exercise can be harmful. If an avid runner is recovering from an injury – say post-op from surgery, or just had a cast removed – the doctor warns the patient to give themselves time to heal before they exercise so they don’t re-injure themselves. Many doctors say, "Let pain be your guide." By the same token, if someone tries to forgive before they have healed enough to protect themselves; they are open to re-injury.

Listen to your heart. Let pain be your guide.

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