Spending Time With My Nieces and Nephews

Yesterday, I spent spent the afternoon at the Children's Museum with my youngest brother, his wife, and their four children, ages 8 months, 2, 3, and 4 years old. What a treat! We had loads of indescribable fun.

One of the many losses incurred with family estrangement is the loss of the children involved. When I became estranged from my family of origin, my two daughters were thirteen and ten. My oldest brothers children were approximately ten, eight, and four. Fourteen years later, when I reconciled with my family, all of these children were grown.

My youngest brother had two children at the time we reconciled. His son was two years old and his daughter was one.

There are many painful "firsts" when we become cut-off from our family members - first birthdays, holidays, successes, and tragedies - all dealt with alone. These same "firsts" can be bittersweet upon re-entry. My first reunion with my youngest brother and his family was at an outdoor dinner theater for a production of Annie. Meeting my nephew and niece for the very first time touched my heart with smiles and tears. We had lost precious time, never to be replaced. Yet, they were adorable and the play mesmerized them with child-like wonder.

In the two and a half years since our reconciliation, I have had the opportunity to share in the birth of two more of his children, birthdays, baptisms, and other special events.

My middle brother (who lives out of state) had three children during our estrangement. They are still quite young, and although I don't see them very often, it is wonderful to get to share in their lives.

My brother's children are bundles of energy - full of rambunctious excitement and laughter. With my own children grown, I delight in sharing occasional childhood events. For instance, visiting the zoo through a child's eyes, full of innocence and wonder. The energy and enthusiasm they exude retelling childhood experiences at school, with friends, or at dance class amuses me.

Reconciliations are hard work filled with many conflicting emotions, risks, and rewards. As time marches on, it gets easier and easier to simply enjoy.