After a fourteen-year family estrangement, one of my brothers contacted me. I was shocked! My heart pounded with excitement and fear. I thought that we would never speak again.
Am I ready to reconcile? Will I be hurt again if I take this leap?
- Can I handle the possibility of being rejected all over again?
- Have we both experienced significant emotional growth and change since we estranged?
- Can I trust myself to set and maintain clear, respectful, boundaries?
- Do I feel the need to engage in old arguments and to "change" his perceptions, or can I respond differently to old family patterns?
- Am I able to stand confidently in my own separate identity?
- Do I feel the need to rehash the past?
- Have I healed sufficiently to differentiate between old painful experiences and the occasional present day hurt feelings?
- Is the threat of physical and/or emotional violence still present in my family?
- Am I still angry? Is he still angry?
- Will reconciliation add to or detract from my life?
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